Wednesday, January 30, 2008

2007 Darwin Awards

Proving once again that we don't all evolve at the the same rate...

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

2. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

3. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.

4. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

5. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your friends and family... Unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

This from Wanda; about the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas"

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me.What in the world does leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come outof the pear tree have to do with Christmas?

Today, I found out.

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.

-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching,Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness,Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas pass it on if you wish."

Monday, January 14, 2008

Interesting quips....

The man who has no imagination has no wings. - Muhammad Ali

Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs. - Pear Strachan

The clash of ideas is the sound of freedom - Unknown

Just as there are no little people or unimportant lives, there is no insignificant work. - Elena Bonner

Hold fast to your memories, everything else in life ends up in a garage sale. - Unknown

Even if you are on the right track, if you don't keep moving you're going to get run over. - Will Rogers

The world is blesses most by those who do things and not by those who merely talk about them. - James Oliver

You will never get to second base if you insist on keeping one foot on first base. - Unknown

There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. - Freya Stark

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Celestial Potentates

It would seem to me…that all candidates for the office of President of the United States must profess some kind of religion. ‘We the people’, the voting public, have sort of made this a requirement (unfortunately).

However, most of us, who profess a liberal understanding of religion, recognize that religions of all kinds are reactions to death or ignorance, and usually date from the childhood of our species, when we didn't know better.

The world (I think) would be so much better off if more people could bring themselves to reject those celestial potentates and realize we are out here on our own. That we must learn to rely on each other, not a sky-god.

I am fearful when I hear candidates say they want to ‘lead the country back to Christ’, or that profess a religion that believes a resurrected Jesus lived for some time in North America. Such profession of belief in religious dogma worries me. Causes me to have concern about motive and intelligence.

How do we as a people move past this delusional status and reliance on celestial potentates?

Perhaps if the Church would embrace the concept of intellectual honesty, that would be a start, but I don’t look for that to happen very soon.

But then I could be wrong……………. barry e